In spite of the title I genuinely do love wine and food from Italy, France, Germany, and other countries as well. And who among us can reject a bargain? But I also hate wine and many aspects of the wine scene. Let me explain my top ten reasons for this love-hate relationship. Old articles discussed the unconscionable expense, the embarrassing lack of knowledge, no wine cellar, I can't get the ... Bottle opened, insomnia, and food problems. This narrative discusses the wine snobs that infest the wine scene.
Ask any hobbyist. The nicest people are his or her fellow trap shooters, crap shooters, tiddly-winks players, 18th Century fountain pen collectors, or you name it. Don't be shocked, I can't believe wine fanciers (snobs?) are nicer, more cultured, or more compassionate than trap shooters, crap shooters, your run-of-the-mill plonk imbibers, or, perish the thought, abstainers. They may not be worse, but they are genuinely not great than the others. Wine fanciers are probably richer or at least start richer than most others, and they do have some special gifts. Who else beside wine fanciers can find ten separate aromas and twelve separate tastes in three ounces of dross? And the haughtiness, "You idea it was a 1982, any fool... ". To be fair I never heard those exact terms. But I do know what they were thinking.
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My apologies to my betters; I do not and can not remember every glass of wine that I ever emptied. I remember some of the best and I can't forget some of the worst. But as far as the vast middle ground goes, why bother cluttering my high-priced store of memories? I am not a psychologist, but I have heard of a mental disorder (don't take this as a technical term) called total recall. An personel blessed, or should we say cursed, with total recall can remember every word of an insignificant conversation that took place two or twenty years ago. This brings sure wine snobs to mind. To them I say get a life. The potential to recall and in some ways regenerate pleasurable memories on quiz, is great, if you don't overdo it.
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I may not be able to recognize dozens of aromas, bouquets, smells, and fragrances in a few ounces of fermented grape juice but I can see the wine snobs in a crowd even before I can smell them. They stare into the glass as if there were no tomorrow. They swirl the liquid as if there were no yesterday. They hold the wine to their nose as if were ready to spill on the carpet. And then they begin to pontificate. Do you remember Poppi from Seinfeld? He wasn't a wine snob but his declarations all the time came with the proviso, there's no discussing such and such and issue. If you are one of the hoi polloi, a member of the great unwashed (as was Poppi if you remember that scene in the washroom) don't even think of questioning one of their assertions.
They are all the time ready to declaim: Who are you to doubt me, or even to express an opinion? Do you think you can even afford to drink my libation of choice? You wouldn't know the variation between a Bordeaux and a Burgundy. The list goes on. Ambrose Bierce said it best in the Devil's Dictionary although he used the word Connoisseur, n. A scholar who knows all about something and nothing about anything else. An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him. "Pauillac, 1873," he murmured and died.
Here are the other reasons that I hate wine, to be explored shortly: Those smells and those tastes, Those colors, Home brew, One more qoute and yes, The Solution.
The Top Ten Reasons I Hate Wine - Seven, Wine SnobsRelated : home and kitchen Beer Cooler Beer Brewing Wine Cooler
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